Congratulations!
Two people texted this to me at the same time and I literally had an epiphany that moment. My dream had finally come true! I couldn’t believe my eyes when I discovered my name in the selected list of my dream institution: BUET!
Well, don't judge me already for sounding so obsessed with an institution.
Actually, from the town I come from, a very few female students could manage securing a position in BUET and so they were depicted like Superheroes to us. And when I say very few, it means barely one or two females from dozens of colleges of the whole division! Our teachers and guardians would always talk about them as if BUET were heaven and the buetians were like greek gods or something.
Ok Ok, I might be exaggerating a bit, but seriously, they were heroes to us. And who wouldn't want to be a hero!?
Actually, I could smell the sweet scent of victory when I got chance in BUET. As I went to my teachers' places to inform them about my greatest achievement, the younger students would stare in disbelief that they're watching a 'hero'! The neighbour aunties would brag about me to their distant relatives and make others' lives hell! People would look twice after hearing my result and ask for my consultations in their children's studies. Though often some of their children were only in kindergarten but, that didn't stop them!
Anyway, my daydreaming days were over soon when our class finally started. Some classes were like the ground of throwing tennis balls. While some nerd kings caught all of them, I missed most of those balls of heavy theories & unnerving calculations.
Days passed by and our first term final was breathing on our necks in no time. We all tried to study hard & soul for it. But, who are we to defy lucks!
After just one exam, I became seriously ill out of nowhere. Fever, tonsil pain and barfing after each meal became the new normal for me. In the end, I managed to pass with the lowest grades of my entire life and lags in two courses as bonus.
The bad result was not the difficult part for me, the next term was. Because I had to juggle the classes, labs while I prepared for the supplementary exam. Might sound harsh but I got literally the fewest help and motivation from the people around. Teachers' behavior were most hurtful as some of them acted as if I failed on purpose or I stink just because I'm sitting for supplies. Some of my classmates' behavior also hurt me like hell. I could confine to almost no-one about my stresses because only the people who have gone through lags can understand how challenging it is.
The nightmare didn't even end there for me. When the next term final began, my mother got suddenly diagnosed with a serious condition. She had to go through surgery almost immediately. At first my sisters tried to keep me away for focusing on my exams, but again, who are we to defy lucks!
All of our family members got really sick all on a sudden, except me. So, I decided to stay at hospital for taking care of my mom.
Yet I studied in hospital cabin because I didn't want to get lag this time too as two lags were more than enough for me. So, I ended up with even poorer grades this time, but luckily, no lags at least. Thank God.
Now, let's not bore you with my next couple of term final experiences. If you're wondering what happened, yes, I did face some major and minor setbacks in those term finals as well. So, when I say I hate term finals, it's safe to bet that I don't despise it because I don't like to study, rather because term finals bring worst nightmares to me every single time.
However, I haven't written just to cry a river about my miseries. I am writting because I have found silver linings in those sufferings.
For example, during my first term final nightmare, one of the 'Khalas' from our dormitory showed such pure concerns and affection towards me which I may never forget. It was so little gesture yet so heart-melting.
Then, during my mom's surgery, some of my friends were there for me, for her. Their unconditional supports still warms my mind!
Throughout the nightmares, I also found some really good people who supported me so cordially in my blues that I have finally found a little bit of peace in this life full of accidents.
If you're wondering about my academic, no, I haven't turned to high grade whale overnight. Life isn't a happy cinema. But I did improve than before, and got free of the debts of supplies. That's the most I could do without defying lucks.
Some people say, " when life throws lemon at you, make lemonade with it". In my version, " If life throws bad lucks to you, find silver linings to it, then it won't seem that bad, I promise!"
And that my friend, is my olive branch to all of you for reading so long! Sayonara!
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